Don't Let's Be Beastly to Hamasniks
The song below was written during the 2023 Israel-Hamas war as a satire directed against a minority of people who, in my opinion, are taking a rather too tolerant view of the West's enemies. It is called Don't Let's Be Beastly to Hamasniks.
Don’t let’s be beastly to Hamasniks.
Now our empathy requires us to be gentle.
Let us treat them very kindly,
As we would one from our ranks.
We might send them out some petrol
To refuel their vehicles’ tanks.
Let’s be fair to them
Just like when we declared to them
That they can govern Gaza as they choose.
Let’s sweetly sympathise with them
And try to realise again
That it's oppressive living near to Jews.
We must restrain
Our yearning to retain
The measures that prevent us being grilled
The blockade’s very hurtful
And just another hurdle
Preventing peace with those who’d have us killed.
Hamas longs
For many more pogroms.
But now they've suffered our bombs,
We mustn't hold
A grudge, be cold,
Or ever give the feeling
We’ll defend our borderlines when
There’s atrocities; we’ll just contextualise them.
Don't let's be beastly to Hamasniks.
When they give in
Let’s try to show respect.
Though they may have handguns, rifles, knives and rockets to excess,
The least that we can do is let them keep their vests.
They’re unfortunate
So let us be proportionate.
It was only armed resistance done en masse.
Let’s give them all our empathy —
Exhausted from their killing spree —
But don't let's be beastly to Hamas!
Don't let's be beastly to Hamasniks.
You can’t deprive a doctor of his gun!
We must maintain their stocks of water
And not let the lines of aid fall through.
Never mind your kidnapped daughter —
Terrorists get thirsty too.
Let's be free with them,
Co-opt the BBC for them;
We mustn’t force them out of their morass.
Let's expel every Jew again,
Let’s stage their bloody coup again,
But don't let's be beastly to Hamas!
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